Merch Girl Read online

  Her voice was shaky, and she stopped speaking for a minute before taking a deep breath to get the rest of the story out.

  “Then we started yelling at each other, I’m surprised you couldn’t hear us down the highway. It was just a big screaming match for what seemed like a lifetime. I don’t think we knew what we were fighting about after a while.”

  She paused and took another deep breath before continuing. She was trying so hard not to cry, it was heart wrenching to see her like this.

  “Eventually I broke down, and he started to kiss my tears away, and then he kissed my lips, and then before you know it our clothes were off…”

  “Oh my God…”

  “Lacey, I know it wasn’t the best decision, but it was just one of those moments; like you hate each other so much that you just have to have each other. It didn’t make sense, but it just felt right.”

  I stared at her, my mouth wide open, at a loss for words. She took my cue of silence and continued her story.

  “It was everything I imagined it would be with him. And that’s what made it the worst night ever. Because, after we were done, he told me that he still felt like he couldn’t trust me, and then he started saying crap like he didn’t want to be tied down on tour, and that he didn’t want us getting so serious so soon, and basically throwing me away like I was just some groupie.”

  “You are not a groupie. His strong feelings for you are probably just freaking him out, and he’s acting like an idiot.”

  “Maybe…”

  “I’m right; for once, you’re going to listen to my advice.”

  “Even if you are right, I can’t face him. I’m embarrassed and I know he doesn’t want me around.”

  “You can’t leave tour!” I pleaded. “I need you here.”

  “I have to leave. Besides, Logan will keep you company.”

  “No, Trina, come on, don’t let a guy ruin your summer.”

  I would do anything for her to stay on tour with me. What was I going to do without my partner in crime? It just wouldn’t be the same. Who would sell merch with me? Who would I have to laugh with at the skanky groupies? Who else could I confide in about Logan? She had to stay!

  “I’ve made up my mind,” she replied. “I’m taking a cab to the airport and flying home today.”

  I wasn’t giving up without a fight. “What can I do to make you stay?”

  She shook her head and gave me another big hug.

  Logan stepped off the bus, wearing his aviator sunglasses and leather flip flops; God he was hot. Even his messy, morning hair looked amazing. He placed his arm around my shoulders and greeted Trina.

  “Bye, Logan, thanks for everything,” she said.

  “Bye?” he asked.

  “She’s leaving us,” I told him. “Do something to make her stay.”

  “You can’t change my mind,” she reiterated.

  “Well that sucks,” Logan said.

  “Sorry, but I have to go, have a good show tonight.”

  I watched as she ran to the doorman to ask for a cab. She was actually going to do it, and I couldn’t stop her.

  “Guess her and Griffin’s talk didn’t go so well…” Logan whispered to me.

  “Yeah,” I said, wrapping my arms around him. I was so lucky to have Logan. He wasn’t afraid to be committed to one girl, he was open and honest with me, he...he was slipping out of my embrace and distancing himself away from me. I looked at him for an explanation.

  He pointed in the distance. “Fans.”

  As soon as the small group of girls in the hotel parking lot spotted Logan they headed straight towards him. Okay, that was the one drawback in our perfect relationship, one major drawback. I was beginning to despise the fans, and I hated that I hated them. I knew that he needed them to be successful, and he was always so sweet to them, eager to sign autographs and take pictures, but I couldn’t help feeling territorial.

  I tried to ignore the girls as they approached my boyfriend. Trina’s imminent departure gave me an easy, albeit depressing distraction. I was going to kill Griffin for this, and Jenna for starting it all.

  “I’m only asking one more time,” I told her as we waited for her cab to arrive.

  “Lacey, I will see you soon. Tour will be over before you know it and we’ll be back in Boston together in no time.”

  I didn’t want the tour to end soon, and I wanted her to be with me till the end! When her cab arrived my hands began to shake, it was all happening too fast. I knew no matter what I said she was still going to leave.

  “I’ll miss you.” I hugged her tight, not wanting to let go.

  “You too,” she said, stepping into the cab. “See you in a few weeks.”

  I waved goodbye, and all I could think about was being at the merch booth at night, all alone, by myself, miserable…

  The fan girls were still crowding around Logan, which didn’t help lift my spirits. I usually wouldn’t interrupt, but I was already in a pissed off mood, so I walked over to him and squeezed myself into their tight little circle.

  “I’m going inside, okay?”

  “Yeah, sure,” he replied.

  The girls fell silent and glared at me. They must have seen the blog post, or just hated me for knowing him. I wished Logan could have at least been a little nicer to me in front of the fans. Would it be so hard to introduce me, even as just a friend? He didn’t seem like he was wrapping it up with them anytime soon, so I went into the hotel and up to my room.

  The first thing I wanted to do was shower. The hot water felt so soothing running over my body. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the madness of the morning.

  I took my time combing through my knotted hair and brushed my teeth. I checked my cell phone; hoping for a text from Trina saying she changed her mind, but nothing was there. I got dressed and realized I had nothing to do, and no one to keep me company. This was going to suck, hardcore.

  I wandered around the lobby and checked out the breakfast. Logan, Griffin and Ryan were all sitting at a table together, eating cereal and bagels. How nice of them to invite me…I’m sure they didn’t leave me out on purpose, but I couldn’t help thinking that was the case.

  Logan waved me over to join them.

  “Hey,” he said, and pat the seat next to him with his hand.

  Ryan and Griffin nodded to acknowledge my presence and went back to their conversation about who knows what. I took a seat next to Logan and ate my oatmeal in silence. It was an awkward and uncomfortable breakfast, and it made me miss Trina a million times more than I already did.

  “We’re meeting Robyn at a radio station downtown for an interview, wanna come?” Logan asked.

  Even though I wasn’t loving being around the guys right now, it would probably be better than wandering around the city aimlessly by myself until show time.

  “Sure,” I replied.

  A van picked us up and took us to the radio station. There was a large group of girls outside the station waiting for the guys to arrive. Robyn was already there and escorted the guys up to the station, not letting them stop for autographs and photos.

  “We need to be on-air in five minutes,” she said.

  I trailed behind and went up into the station with them. After they were all set up with their microphones Robyn hung back against the wall next to me.

  “Oh! Lacey, I didn’t even notice you here, I’m sorry,” she said. “Been really busy, I have tunnel vision sometimes.”

  “It’s alright.”

  “Why are you here? Don’t you and Trina usually wander around before the shows?”

  “Yeah, she…um, she left,” I explained.

  “What? She quit?”

  “I guess, yeah…” I didn’t want to get into the reason why she left. Robyn didn’t need to get involved in all our drama.

  “Can you do the merch by yourself?”

  Truthfully, I was worried about selling the merch alone, but I didn’t want some random girl joining the tour either.

&
nbsp; “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

  “Well, holler for me if you need help.”

  I nodded.

  The “on-air” light turned on in the room and the interview began.

  “I’m with Lansdowne, the newest band tearing up America,” the DJ said. “So tell me a little about yourselves. How’d it all start?”

  “Well, we met our freshman year at college in Boston and we just all really clicked personally and musically with each other and decided to form a band,” Griffin said.

  “Yeah, we just loved playing together and recorded some demos,” Ryan chimed in.

  “And when I interned at a record label last summer in New York City, I played our stuff for one of the A&R guys and he brought it to the higher-ups at the label. Thankfully they decided to sign us,” Logan said.

  “Sounds like it was pretty easy!” the DJ remarked.

  “Oh, no, we’ve all been in previous bands and have worked our butts off to get to where we’re at right now, it was definitely not an easy road,” Logan said.

  “Now, guys, I saw some pretty cute girls outside the station waiting for you since 6AM! I think they all want to know one thing, are you guys single?”

  “Yes, we’re all single,” Griffin said.

  I looked around the room for a sharp, pointy object to throw at him. What an ass! I knew he had to say they were single, but he sounded so happy, and really, he didn’t need to speak for Logan on that subject. Although, I knew Logan probably would have had to say the same thing. Even though I knew it was a lie, it still hurt.

  “The ladies will love that,” the DJ responded. “Let’s play your new single and we’ll see you guys downtown later at the Peach Lounge.”

  “Bye, thanks for having us!” Logan said.

  The guys shook hands with everyone at the station and signed some CDs and posters before heading back downstairs.

  Logan walked next to me down the hallway. “What’d you think?”

  “It was cool; I’ve never been inside a radio station before.”

  “Yeah, they’re all kind of the same.”

  Once we walked through the doors to go back outside, the fans instantly swarmed around him. Robyn and I waited near the van as they signed autographs and took pictures with all the girls outside.

  “I know it sucks sometimes,” Robyn said.

  “Huh?”

  “I used to date a guy in a band,” she explained.

  “But, I…”

  “Lacey, it’s obvious what’s going on between you and Logan, no need to hide it from me.”

  “Oh…does it ever get easier?”

  “No, which is why I stopped dating the guy. And he wasn’t even trying to hide our relationship. I just couldn’t handle all the fans and groupies around all the time.”

  I couldn’t think of a response, she had me worried that our relationship was going to end up that way too.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to upset you, just wanted to let you know I’ve been there before, and I know it’s not easy.”

  “Thanks.”

  We all jumped back into the van and drove straight to the venue. When we pulled up, I saw that our buses were parked outside the club and the fans were lined up along the sidewalk.

  “It’s getting pretty late, you guys just need to make a run for it,” Robyn instructed.

  The van stopped in front of the entrance and the club’s security escorted the guys inside quickly before the fans had a chance to realize what was happening. Robyn and I exited the van after them and went back to our bus to grab the merch.

  I grabbed a few boxes and felt a tap on my shoulder.

  “Hi!”

  I turned around and saw the familiar blonde. “Hey, Devin.”

  She looked around behind me and then peeked inside the open door. “Where’s Trina?”

  “Um, she’s not here.”

  “Why? What happened?”

  “It’s personal,” I told her. “Listen, I really gotta get inside, these boxes are heavy.”

  She put her arms around the box on top that I was balancing as best as I could. “I’ll help you.”

  I didn’t stop her, I needed the help. She grabbed the box and walked inside the venue behind me.

  “Thanks.” I grabbed the box from her and started to unpack some of the contents.

  Devin glanced around the venue in awe.

  “Oh my God, I can hear them tuning their instruments!” she squealed.

  “If I let you help me, you have to stay cool.”

  She nodded and zipped her mouth shut with her finger.

  “You don’t have to be silent, just try not to freak out over every little thing.”

  “Okay,” she said. “I’ll try my best.”

  “Aren’t you a little young to be traveling the country by yourself?” I asked. She had such a sweet, innocent look about her -- big blue eyes and her blonde hair in a long, loose braid. As annoying as she could be, she had the face of someone you could never be mad at. And thankfully she wasn’t wearing her ‘I love Ryan’ tank top, just a basic tank and denim shorts.

  “No, I’m seventeen,” she answered.

  “Really? So am I,” I responded. “Well, I’ll be eighteen soon.”

  “Yeah, I guess I just look young,” she said. “I have some friends that wanted to come with me on tour, but they either went to camp for the summer or got jobs.”

  “I lucked out, this is my summer job, and it’s sorta like camp with all the boy drama.”

  Devin raised an eyebrow.

  “No, not telling,” I said. “I cannot go into detail!”

  “Fine, I’ll find out anyway,” she said, with a smirk.

  I brought Devin inside the club to hear the soundcheck. She grabbed my hand and shook from excitement. It was fun to bring someone else into this exclusive world.

  “Can you introduce me to Ryan?” she asked.

  “Sure, but later.”

  “I love him,” she whispered.

  “You don’t even know him!” I said. “Hell, I don’t even know him.”

  “Don’t you spend every day with him?”

  “Hardly. I hang out with the band, but Ryan and I have never really talked to each other, except for, you know, the whole Jenna thing…”

  “Oh, I see,” she said. “Well, I’m glad you told him, he didn’t deserve to be with a two-timer.”

  I shrugged my shoulders and held my finger to my lips to shush her so we could listen to the rest of soundcheck. After the guys were done, Logan ran off the stage and walked over to us.

  “Oh my God!” Devin shrieked as he got closer to us.

  “What did I say? No freaking out,” I reminded her. “Or you’ll have to go back outside.”

  She quickly shut her mouth.

  “Hey.” He looked at me, then at Devin.

  “Logan, this is Devin, she’s helping me with the merch tonight.”

  “Oh, cool,” he replied. “Anyway, just found out we’re having an after party here that the local radio station is throwing, you up for it?”

  “Yeah, of course.”

  “Cool, see you after the show then.”

  He turned away and went backstage.

  “Oh my God, he so likes you,” Devin said.

  I rolled my eyes, not wanting to let any details slip out to a Lansdowne gossip blogger.

  “Can I go to the party too?” she asked. “After all, I’m not getting paid to help you; I think it would be fair compensation.”

  She had a point, and it would be nice to have someone else around when Logan went off to talk to music industry people.

  “Fine, just don’t start blabbing online about everything you see tonight,” I instructed. “Some things are for VIPs to see and know only.”

  “I’m VIP?” she asked, beaming.

  “If you’re at an after party with the band, then yeah, I’d say that makes you a VIP.”

  “Awesome!”

  I looked at my cell and noticed it was almost time for the do
ors to open. I ran over how much each piece of merchandise cost with Devin and she seemed prepared. When the fans rushed in she helped me sell the t-shirts and other Lansdowne goodies without any difficulties.

  “Is it okay if I go watch the show?” she asked after most of the fans were inside.

  “Yeah, just come back during the last song.”

  “Got it!” she said, and ran off into the crowd.

  I texted Trina to let her know I missed her and hoped she had a good flight back home. It was so weird not having her there to experience the concert with me. I loved hearing the music, but it just wasn’t as fun without her there dancing beside me. Why did Griffin have to be such a jerk? I really didn’t understand it. He seemed so in love with her, and then to just drop her like that, it was infuriating.

  Devin reappeared during the last song and helped me sell merch for the next hour. We packed up and took the boxes back to the bus. I knocked on the door and the driver let us in. Devin followed me up the steps.

  “Welcome to my humble abode,” I said, spinning around the short hallway of bunks like I was in an infomercial.

  “This is so awesome!” she exclaimed.

  “How do you get around anyway? Are you driving all by yourself?” I asked.

  “Yeah, but I blast Lansdowne’s music in the car to keep me awake, and to help the drives go by faster.”

  “I’d be too nervous to do that,” I admitted.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “I’ve always been pretty independent, but I’ve been making a lot of friends on the tour, so it’s been fun. And seeing the band almost every night makes the long drives and cheap hotel stays totally worth it.”

  “I give you props for doing it, I’m sure the guys would appreciate it too.”

  “Thanks.”

  I rummaged through my bunk and found a hair brush and some eyeliner and mascara. I took it into the small bathroom and tried to make myself look a little more presentable before heading to the after party.

  “So, is Trina coming back?” Devin asked.

  “I don’t know…I hope so.”

  “I got the feeling she didn’t like me.”

  I knew Trina didn’t hate Devin, she just found her sort of annoying, which I did too at first. But, she’s actually not that bad now that I’d gotten to know her a bit better.